If you’ve ever walked into a doctor’s office during perimenopause or menopause and felt like your symptoms were brushed off, minimized, or chalked up to “just stress,” you’re far from alone. Too many women are being gaslit by the very healthcare systems meant to support them.
Medical gaslighting—when a provider dismisses or downplays a patient’s symptoms—has become a disturbingly common experience for women navigating midlife transitions. From hot flashes and brain fog to mood swings, weight gain, and disrupted sleep, these symptoms are often trivialized, leaving women feeling unheard and unsupported.
In a time when women should be empowered and informed about their changing bodies, many are walking out of their doctor’s offices with nothing more than a vague suggestion to “reduce stress,” or “get more exercise,” or “this is a normal rite of passage.” And that’s just not good enough.
The Knowledge Gap in Menopause Care
One of the most frustrating aspects of menopause care today is that even though every woman will experience it, many doctors are simply not trained to handle it well. A 2020 survey found that fewer than 1 in 5 U.S. OB-GYNs received formal menopause education during their residency training, despite the fact that over 50 million women in the U.S. are currently in or approaching menopause.OB/GYNs are highly trained in managing hormones related to puberty, PCOS, and pregnancy—that’s where most of their education is focused. However, for those trained after 2002, the Women’s Health Initiative (WHI) study significantly shifted the landscape of hormone education, and unfortunately, the training still hasn’t fully bounced back.
A systematic review in BMC Women’s Health revealed that a lack of knowledge and communication from healthcare professionals leads many women to feel confused and unsupported during this transition. Combine that with the complexity of symptoms, which can mimic anxiety, thyroid dysfunction, or even early dementia, and you’ve got a perfect storm for misdiagnosis or dismissal.
Real Women, Real Frustrations
Let’s be honest: if a man walked into his doctor’s office complaining of sudden weight gain, crushing fatigue, memory problems, and a complete loss of libido, he’d probably be sent for a full panel of labs and perhaps referred to a specialist. When a woman does it? All too often, she’s told she’s just “getting older” or “overreacting.”
We hear this all the time from our patients. One woman came to us after being told her night sweats were “probably just too many blankets.” Another had been on antidepressants for years before discovering her symptoms were due to hormonal imbalances, not depression.
The Decline of Hormone Therapy (and Why It Matters)
One of the tools that can help many women through menopause—hormone therapy—has also been sidelined in recent decades due to outdated fears. After the 2002 Women’s Health Initiative (WHI) study linked hormone therapy to increased risks of breast cancer and heart disease, millions of women stopped using it, and many doctors stopped recommending it.
But what got lost in the panic was nuance. Follow-up studies have shown that for many women, especially those under 60 or within 10 years of menopause, hormone therapy is not only safe but can reduce the risk of osteoporosis, colon cancer, and even heart disease.
Still, misinformation lingers. Between 1999 and 2020, hormone therapy use dropped from 26.9% to just 4.7% among U.S. postmenopausal women. That means many women today are suffering needlessly due to confusion, outdated science, or provider discomfort.
The Impact of Disparities
Let’s not forget the layers of disparity that make this issue even worse for women of color. Black women, for example, tend to experience menopause earlier, with more severe symptoms, and are less likely to be offered hormone therapy or referred to specialists. Systemic racism, socioeconomic factors, and healthcare bias all play a role.
We can’t talk about improving menopause care without acknowledging these deep-rooted inequities and doing the work to fix them.
Why Women Deserve More Than “Just Deal With It”
At our female-led practice, we’re not here to tell women to tough it out or “embrace the change” without support. We believe women deserve more—more information, more compassion, and more options.
We’ve heard too many stories from women who felt like they were going crazy because no one had ever explained what perimenopause looks like. (Spoiler: It’s not just hot flashes. It can start as early as your 30s and involve decades of hormonal rollercoasters.)
We take a different approach. Here’s how:
Our Approach to Menopause: Listening First, Then Leading
1. We Listen (Like, REALLY Listen)
Every woman’s experience with menopause is different. That’s why we start by listening to your full story—not just checking your labs and checking out. We believe your lived experience matters just as much as your hormone levels.
2. We Educate, Not Lecture
There’s no one-size-fits-all in menopause care. So we explain your options clearly and honestly, whether that’s bioidentical hormone replacement, supplements, lifestyle shifts, or a mix of all three. Our job is to give you tools, not rules.
3. We Personalize Your Plan
No two hormone profiles are the same. We use advanced lab testing when appropriate and build a plan that’s tailored to your body, your lifestyle, and your goals.
4. We Honor the Mind-Body Connection
Mood swings, irritability, anxiety…it’s not all “in your head,” but your brain and hormones are connected. We address emotional and cognitive symptoms with the same seriousness as physical ones.
5. We’re Not Afraid of the Big Conversations
Intimacy, libido, dryness, body image—we talk about it all. Without judgment. Without awkwardness. Just real solutions and real conversations.
What Needs to Change in the Bigger Picture
Improving menopause care isn’t just about individual doctors learning more (though that’s part of it). It’s about a systemic shift that includes:
- Mandatory menopause education for healthcare providers during training
- Public awareness campaigns should empower women to advocate for their health. It’s important to address and clarify the misconceptions surrounding the WHI results. Not all hormone therapies are the same—menopause is best treated with bioidentical hormones, not synthetic ones.
- Insurance coverage for comprehensive menopause care, including functional and integrative approaches
- More research into non-hormonal treatment options and individualized care pathways
Let’s not forget: women are now spending a third of their lives post-menopause. This is not a brief phase to be brushed aside—it’s a major life chapter, and it deserves attention, funding, and real care.
We’re Here to Change the Game
At Activated Health and Wellness, we’re proud to be part of a movement that’s changing the way menopause is talked about and treated. We believe women deserve a seat at the table, not a pat on the head. You’re not “just hormonal.” You’re wise, strong, evolving—and you deserve to feel like yourself again.
Whether you’re in your 30s and feeling off or you’re well into your 50s and wondering why no one warned you about this part of aging, we’re here. And we’re listening.
Ready to feel like yourself again? Book a complimentary consultation with our patient coordinator today and let’s talk about how we can help you take your power (and your peace of mind) back.
Resources & References
- Northwell Health. Gaslighting in women’s health: No it’s not just in your head. northwell.edu
- BMC Women’s Health. Women’s knowledge and attitudes to the menopause. PMC
- JAMA Health Forum. Trends in Menopausal Hormone Therapy Use in the US, 1999-2020. jamanetwork.com
- NCBI Bookshelf. Hormone Replacement Therapy – StatPearls. NCBI
- JoinMidi. Black Women and Menopause: Why the Experience Is Different. joinmidi.com
- Verywell Health. Can Menopause Cause Depression? verywellhealth.com
- ScienceDirect. Disparities in Menopausal Care in the United States. sciencedirect.com
- The Guardian. HRT should be offered as first-line treatment for menopause, says NICE. theguardian.com
